DAVID WEALTHY

TWO COOL JOKES

 

The Net Funny Website

 

Joke number 1

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The schnauzer

Apparently this woman's miniature schnauzer had an infection in its ear. The vet told her that it was due to an ingrown hair and that the best treatment would be to remove the hair with a depilatory cream.

The woman went to a drug store and asked the druggist for assistance in selecting an appropriate product. He went on explaining that some were better for use on legs and others were gentler and better for removing facial hair.

He then said, "May I ask where you intend to use this?"

She replied timidly, "Well, it's for my... schnauzer."

He advised her, "OK, but you shouldn't ride a bike for two weeks."

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Joke number 2

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I see things differently

Once upon a time, there was a woman working at a lingerie store.
One day a customer came to the counter and asked for a pair of frillyorange panties. She said she'd like to buy them, and added:
"But only if you can embroider "If you can read this, you're too close", on the back."
So, the saleswoman took the panties to the tailor in back, and described the rather unusual request. 
The tailor said, "Well, she sounds like a stick-in-the-mud, but I can do that. Does she want block letters or script?" 
Since the saleswoman didn't know exactly, she went back around to the counter, and asked:
"Do you want that in block letters or script?" 
With a broad smile, the customer replied: "Braille."

Source: The Net Funny Website

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GLOSSARIES

THE SCHNAUZER
schnauzer: very small terrier dog (perro muy pequeño de raza terrier)
vet: veterinarian (veterinario)
ingrown hair: inborn hair, hair growing abnormally into the flesh (pelo encarnado)
druggist: pharmacist (farmacéutico)  
went on: continued (continuó, prosiguió)  
gentler: softer (más suaves)  
advised her: gave her some advice (le aconsejó) 

I SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY
lingerie: women's underwear and nightclothes (ropa interior)

frilly: very decorated with frills (lleno de volados)
embroider: decorate with needlework (bordar)
stick-in-the-mud: someone old-fashioned, quiet and serious (anticuada)
block letter: capital letter (letra de imprenta)
script: handwriting (letra manuscrita)
broad smile: wide smile (amplia sonrisa)